A little self love.

I’m dope. I’m a freaking rockstar. I am worth it. I deserve it. I can do anything I put my mind to!

These are things I tell myself every single day. Praise at work, accept it, you deserve it. Compliments on your gift, accept it you deserve it. Call yourself pretty sometimes, you are and you deserve to hear it. Give yourself props on your accomplishments and progress because you deserve it. Never settle for a man who treats you less than a queen, because you are worth it Kristen.

I say these things to myself every day because there was a time in life I didn’t believe any of them. There was a time when I let the opinions of others and the mistreatment from them define how I viewed myself. My value as a person was directly tied to how they viewed me, how they talked to me, how they loved me. My value was measured in the mistakes I had made and the failures I accrued. I was left with some distorted self-image of a girl who was not worthy or capable of success.

I am long past the days where my worth is measured in people’s opinion of me. I’m long past the days where I don’t believe in myself. I have learned from my failures and used those lessons to push me forward. I have weeded the negativity out of my life and have been flourishing ever since. But I’ve learned that it’s really easy to lose focus of your accomplishments . Life’s challenges never stop coming and failure is often unavoidable. It entirely too easy to allow your vision to become blurred and let darkness drown out the light of your success.

What I’ve learned about myself is that the minute I try to let someone new in, especially romantically, or the minute I try to take a risk outside of my comfort zone, I am fighting to hang tight to my value. If i feel like failure or rejection are peaking at me from around the corner, alarms start going off in my head to run the other direction. go back into my box of complacency where I have no self-doubt and I AM WORTH IT.

Problem is, I will never accomplish anything inside that box. I will never meet my husband, I will never expand my ministry, i will never launch my non profit. I’ll never be able to truly chase my dreams if I can’t learn to maintain my level of value even through a rough patch.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve taken plenty of risk. But I almost never dive in head first. I dip my toe in and test the water to make sure I’ll be swimming in a pool of validation. And if the water feels like backlash, I take off running. Or at least I used too.

But I’ve learned that a little self love goes a long way. I’ve learned that the best way to combat the fear of future failure is to acknowledge your past and current success. You’ve overcome before, you can over come again. I made up my mind a long time ago that nothing will ever stop me.

So every single solitary day, I’ll look in the mirror and tell myself, YOU DESERVE IT, YOU ARE WORTH IT, you girl are DOPE and nothing will change that. Even if in the moment I don’t fully believe the words I’m saying, I do it anyway. Because I am determined to never let anything skew my vision again.

-Kristen

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