Think about the amount of people you meet in your life. Almost everyday you encounter a new person. Maybe it’s a new coworker, a cashier at the grocery store or a stranger you bumped into on the street. Over your lifetime you will have thousands of interactions with countless people. Some of these faces you will never remember, some will change your life forever.
A few years ago I joined choir at my church. There were quite a few other people my age or a little younger. I just didn’t speak to them much outside casual choir folk conversation. A friend of mine however did hang out with them outside of church regularly and encouraged me to get to know them. Over the course of the summer, I hung out with these group of girls and guys countless times. I always enjoyed myself, we laughed, we had a few drinks sometimes and we talked about our faith other times. But if I am honest all of the friendships were superficial, surface level relationships. They wouldn’t call me to tell me their problems or get spiritual advice and I wouldn’t call them either. In fact, I made a comment one time about none of them being my “real friends” and became an ongoing joke between us
There was one girl in particular, Janae, who I was at first convinced hated me. Still to this day I can’t give you a solid reason as to why I thought that. We later talked and laughed about my unwarranted belief in her disdain for me. She assured me that never for one second did she dislike me. And though I hung out with all of them occasionally, our friendships were still superficial.
But last year something told me to reach out to Janae and schedule a dinner date. I fully expected it to be another “fake friend” encounter where we had the normal amount of catching up, female gossip and then we could both successfully mark it on our calendar to go toward the required amount of social interactions that adults our age should have. But I had no idea what God was about to do.
I am not always an easy person to understand. I tell people my story. I tell them my dreams. But for someone to truly understand the complex web of emotions that drive me is rare. I often describe myself as the most put together mess. My desires and dreams are simple. My emotions are complicated and not everyone can handle that.
So I sat and chatted with Janae. For the first time in the almost 2 years I had known her I realized something. She was just like me. She knew exactly who she was and who she wanted to be. She was undoubtedly, unapologetically Janae. She loved God with all her heart and with every part of her she wanted more of Him. She had dreams and she was going to chase them. But inside she was the same complicated web of emotions I was. We struggled with the same fears and self-doubt. WE WERE THE SAME. And it was a breath of fresh air for someone to actually fully understand me.
So here I was thinking, “cool, we are finally real friends this is great” still not understanding what God was doing. I knew we are in the same season in regards to our purpose. We both had an idea of what our callings were. We were both hungry to chase after them even though we didn’t quite know what the end result was. But we soon both found ourselves, for the first time in forever, single and trying to find love.
The road that brought us each there was very different but the end result was the same. Two Christ centered women who knew their value and understood what they wanted but who loved so hard, so deep and so big that we were ready to dive in head first at any moment. It was then I knew why God opened the door for this friendship.
On her bad days, I was doing great. When she needed encouragement it wasn’t just from another person who didn’t understand the way her brained work. I reminded her she was unapologetically Janae, brilliant, destined and fierce. I assured her no matter what God would put her back together, no matter how many times it took. And on the days where I spent my lunch break on the verge of tears and a mental break down trying to reign in my emotions, she reminded me that I was literally the best thing since sliced bread. She even came up with the idea of praying and doing scripture together as we tried to propel ourselves further into our destiny and become the women that the kind of husband we wanted deserved. She was literally my rock.
In my comfort zone of complacency I had found my worth and value; I never questioned it. It took me years to see the worth I had and when I found it, I stayed there. But I was hit with the harsh reality that in my progression the fear of rejection and failure threatened that. So God sent me Janae and me to her to keep each other in check, pour into each other spiritually, eat chipotle together when we are sad, give great advice that you know you won’t follow when it comes to your own life and just be that friend that every woman should have.
I guess my point of all of this is that its funny how God works sometimes. She was one of the people I encountered in my life that I was honestly sure I wouldn’t remember much. In 30 years I would look back and struggle to remember “those girls from when I was on choir”. She was an acquaintance who I liked. But God makes no mistakes. We didn’t need each other quite yet when we met. As soon as He knew I could use a friendship that was a little different than any other I’ve ever had He reminded me of her. And she is undoubtedly a woman who has now forever changed my life. So sometimes you just have to take a look at the interactions and people God bring in your path and don’t let a forever friend pass you by.
And once you’ve found them, give ’em props when props are due. So, thanks love.
We are powerhouses. We are destined for great. We are proverbs 31 women and we will change the world.